Dear Karkat,

—CCG RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT—

CCG: HEY FUTURE ME.
CCG: YEAH EVERY ONE OF YOU DOUCHECANOES.  THERE’S LIKE A MILLION OF YOU
CCG: WANNA EXPLAIN THE ABOVE IMAGE?
CCG: HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU ASSHOLE
CCG: IF I’M GOING TO END UP SOMEHOW FLUSHED FOR GAMZEE I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
CCG: THIS IS FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR ENTIRE RUMPUS RIDE THROUGH PARADOX SPACE.  LET’S GET SOME ANSWERS IN HERE.
CCG: HELLOOOOOOOOOO

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 107 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS ROSE DOING
FCG: WE’LL SEE HOW SHE LIKES THAT CAMERA STUFFED UP HER NOOK.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 107 HOURS FROM NOW stopped responding to memo.

CCG: WELL THAT WAS INCREDIBLY UNHELPFUL.
CCG: ANYONE ELSE? PREFERABLY *NOT* WITH CRYPTIC MESSAGES ABOUT CAMERAS AND LALONDES!

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 310 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: OH MY GOD HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET.
FCG: ISN’T IT OBVIOUS WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?? DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE IT EXPLAINED TO YOU LIKE SOME SMALL CONFUSED WRIGGLER WHO CAN’T FIND THE TRIAL CAVE EXIT?
CCG: EXCUSE ME MIGHTY UTTER DIPSHIT STUPIDFACE, IS THIS SERIOUSLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO TREAT THIS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT ISSUE?
CCG: IF I’M GOING TO GET IT UP IN MY THINKPAN TO WANT GAMZEE IN MY CONCUPISCENT RED QUADRANT I THINK IT’S PRETTY GODDAMN IMPORTANT TO KNOW NOW.
FCG: HOLY FUCK, I REMEMBER THIS.  I REMEMBER HOW SERIOUS YOU WERE ABOUT THIS.  JEGUS.  PAST ME IS SO PAINFULLY DUMB!
FCG: THIS IS ME PERFORMING THE BIGGEST DOUBLE FACEPALM COMBO IN THE HISTORY OF PARADOX SPACE.  MY FACEGASH AND SNIFFLEHORN WILL BE SORE FOR DAYS.  ENJOY THAT WHEN YOU GET HERE, ASSHOLE!
CCG: THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOUR PAIN, BULGEWAD.
CCG: THIS IS ABOUT ME APPARENTLY KISSING GAMZEE.
CCG: I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU BUT APPARENTLY I WILL DRINK A JUG OF BLEACH AND FRY MY THINKPAN SO HARD THAT I WILL FORGET EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT TROLL ROMANCE IN THE NEXT 310 HOURS, SO I WILL!
FCG: YEAH YEAH IN BEFORE TL;DR
CCG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
CCG: IF MY FEELINGS TURN RED FOR GAMZEE, THAT IS ESSENTIAL INFORMATION.
CCG: I NEED TO KNOW IF ANYONE IS IN HIS PACIFYING QUADRANT IF WE FLIP HEARTS.
CCG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I WOULD.  I MEAN, HE’S STILL HUNG UP ON TAVROS, AT LEAST RIGHT NOW
CCG: AND I JUST DON’T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT HIM.  I WILL SHOOSHPAP HIM TO THE MOON AND BACK, AND I’LL EVEN SIT IN HIS SHITTY HORN PILE AND JAM WITH HIM.  FUCK, IT’S EMBARRASSING HOW PALE I AM FOR THAT SACK OF BONES TOPPED WITH A RATNEST
CCG: BUT I GUESS FUTURE ME HAS FORGOTTEN THAT HE NEEDS SOMEONE THERE TO SHOOSH HIM
CCG: AND THAT HE USED TO LIKE SHOOSHING GAMZEE.  THIS WAS AN ACTIVITY HE ACTUALLY ENJOYED
CCG: AND TRADED THAT IN FOR KISSING???
CCG: WELL?
FCG: SORRY, I FELL ASLEEP.
CCG: YOU ARE A DICKBAG.  YOU ANNOY ME SO MUCH THAT I ACTUALLY HAD TO USE A WORD I GOT FROM DAVE.  THAT IS HOW MUCH YOU SUCK AT EXISTING AND I AM EMBARRASSED THAT I WILL EVER BE YOU.
FCG: WELL HOW DO YOU THINK *I* FEEL!? I HAD TO ENDURE BEING YOU ONCE AND THEN I GOT A FUCKING CLUE FROM THE CLUEBOX AND REALIZED WHAT A COMPLETE NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE I USED TO BE.  THEN I OPEN THIS MEMO AND I HAVE TO TALK TO THE NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE VERSION OF ME ALL OVER AGAIN AND IT’S LIKE CHOKING ON A MOUTHFUL OF NAILS.
CCG: GUESS WHAT, GENIUS! I HAVEN’T TIED YOU TO YOUR CRABTOP! YOU COULD LEAVE ANYTIME YOU WANT TO! OR ARE YOU ARE SUCH A SELF-FLAGELLATING NOOKWHIFFER THAT YOU MUST SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR THE GREATER GOOD AND DEIGN TO TALK TO ME?
FCG: HEY, GOOD POINT.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 310 HOURS FROM NOW banned himself from memo.

CCG: FUCK. ME.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 109 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: OKAY. LOOK, IT’S SIMPLE JERKFACE
CCG: OH JOY, ANOTHER ONE.  I REGRET EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE UP UNTIL THIS POINT, AND APPARENTLY OVER THE NEXT THREE HUNDRED AND TEN HOURS TOO.
FCG: SHUT UP.  I JUST HAD A GREAT FEELINGS JAM WITH GAMZEE AND I’M FEELING GENEROUS SO SHUT YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE FOR THREE SECONDS AND I’LL EXPLAIN.
CCG: I’M ALL AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS.
FCG: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS IF WE SWITCH QUADRANTS IN THE FUTURE.  FUTURE ME IS A DUMBASS ANYWAY.  OR FUTURE FUTURE ME, I GUESS, TO YOU.
CCG: WOW, FOR ONCE WE AGREE!
FCG: STILL MY TALKY TIME.  YOU CAN RANT TO YOURSELF ALL YOU WANT AFTER I’M GONE.
FCG: DONE?
FCG: GOOD.  JEGUS FUCK.
FCG: THE POINT IS, THAT PARTICULAR PICTURE IS FROM A DREAMBUBBLE.
CCG: WHAT?
FCG: I JUST EXPERIENCED THIS.  IT WAS
FCG: ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD I GUESS
FCG: NOT ME, BUT
FCG: YOU KNOW HOW DREAMBUBBLES ARE.  THEY’RE LIKE WARPED COULD-HAVE-BEEN VERSIONS OF YOURSELF.  THIS ONE WAS SOME ALTERNATE FUTURE WHERE GAMZEE AND I ENDED UP FLUSHED.
FCG: I’D FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE FUCKING PICTURE LALONDE TOOK, THOUGH.  AND NOW I HAVE TO LEAVE IT UP SO I CAN COMMENT ABOUT IT INANELY IN THE PAST! FUCK TIMELINES
CCG: THAT
CCG: THAT ACTUALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.
CCG: WOW.  I ALMOST RESPECT YOU.
CCG: *ALMOST* BEING THE KEY WORD.
FCG: DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT YOUR RESPECT? I’VE ALREADY BEEN YOU AND I DON’T EVER HAVE TO BE YOU AGAIN.  SOMEDAY YOU HAVE TO BE ME, THOUGH
FCG: AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE HEART ATTACK OF SEEING THIS PICTURE AS MUCH AS I DID.
FCG: THIS WAS OODLES OF FUN, LET’S NEVER DO IT AGAIN
CCG: WAIT
CCG: WAIT UP, QUICK QUESTION
FCG: WHAT?
CCG: WHAT WAS IT LIKE KISSING GAMZEE? IN THE DREAMBUBBLE, I MEAN.
FCG: …
FCG: SPOILERS, ASSWIPE.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 109 HOURS FROM NOW stopped responding to memo.

CCG: A;LSD FJA;SLDJ

—CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW closed memo.—